Monday, December 22, 2014

Trust in the New Year

I was 17 years old and when I first started volunteering they had me assigned as a big sister to bp’s (stands for baby prostitutes) with the hope that they would open up more to someone closer to their own age. Imagine, I was naïve teenager, had never had a serious boyfriend, and they asked me to volunteer in a home with 13 year olds who had been working the streets with their hooker moms.

I remember during training asking the head psychologist, “What am I supposed to say when they tell me their stories? How can I help them?”

I thought I was supposed to have some words of wisdom, or try to convince them not to sell themselves. Would they even listen to me? What could I possibly say to convince them not to go back on the streets? I wanted to know what to say and do.

I came from a home where I had a mother and father who were still ready to ground me and take away privileges if I stayed out too late. The worse thing I had to deal with was fighting with my siblings and getting caught skipping school. Ok, and the 'no boyfriend' thing seemed like a big deal to me at the time.

Some of these girls didn’t know who their father was, and for some their mother was their pimp.

The counselor said, “Lea, we absolutely don’t want you to give them any advice. That is what we’re here for. They need someone to trust. Do that. Be that person for them. Just listen. Don’t judge. And let them know you care.”

There were times when I felt overwhelmed and would sit there in shocked silence when they told their stories. But I did listen. I grew to love them without judgment. I learned to understand them. And they learned to trust me.

It was a big lesson in how powerful trust is. How trust can help turn around a life.

If trusting made such a big difference in their situation, imagine what you can do in your life.

More trust can turn around a business. More trust can turn around a relationship. Trust can turn around a life.

I’ve been speaking and presenting for 10 years now. I love speaking. No, you don’t understand. I don’t love speaking, I LOVE speaking. Giant letters. My goal is to help bring more trust to the world. I want to help the world be like an 80’s Coke commercial where people join hands and sing and trust each other. Seriously. That’s my goal.

I took a good hard look at my last audience and what I wasn’t seeing was people jumping up and yelling, “Hallelujah, I’ve found more ways to trust and be trusted.” Heck they weren’t yelling anything. The reviews were average. Not bad. Not great. Just average. Average isn’t going to get 'Kumbaya change the world' moments.

So, I’ve looked at what I teach others. I’m ready to implement what I teach others to what I do myself. Awesome concept. Walk the talk. Next year I’m going to trust myself more. Take more risks. I’m going to remember the young girls from the youth home.

How about you? What do you want accomplish and how will trust make the difference?

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Messing Up and Keeping Trust

If you don’t make mistakes, you’re just not trying hard enough. But what do you do when the inevitable happens? What do you do when you or your staff makes a mistake? Mistakes can erode trust, but let's be very clear: It’s not the mistake that causes distrust; it’s how the mistake is handled.

The cost to businesses when trust is damaged is huge. Dave Carroll’s experience with United Airlines is a case in point.

Carroll is a professional musician whose guitar was mishandled and damaged on a layover in Chicago. As he was sitting on the plane, waiting for takeoff, the passenger behind him said, “My God, they’re throwing guitars on the tarmac.” When he looked out the window, he recognized his guitar case. He reported what he saw to the first United representative he came in contact with, who quickly and rudely dismissed him with a “Not my responsibility.”

When he got to his final destination, he was relieved to see the guitar case looked okay. It wasn’t until he got to his hotel room and opened the case that he saw the true extent of the damage. His $3,500 Taylor guitar was broken. The repairs cost $1,200, and Carroll expected United to pay the bill. After nine months of futile negotiation, Carroll gave up... but not before telling United he was going to write a song about what he had been through. He posted a video - “United Breaks Guitars” - on YouTube, and to date that video has been viewed by over 100 million people around the world. (It was even played on TV, increasing it’s reach.)


In a Harvard case study, researchers calculated that the bad publicity engendered by the broken guitar and poor customer service cost United over $95 million in stock value and revenues. When I spoke with Carroll, he said it was United’s response to the damage, not the damage itself that inspired him to write the song. Imagine if someone at United had taken responsibility for the mistake and paid the claim. United wouldn’t have suffered damage to its reputation or its bottom line. Remember, as I said above, mistakes don’t cause distrust - how mistakes are handled causes distrust.

The Five Rs

So, how should you and your team handle mistakes? Simple: apologize.

The best apologies follow the five Rs:

#1. Recognize the offense. Make sure you know exactly what the problem is. This may sound obvious, but it would surprise you how often the offender and the offended aren’t on the same page.

#2. Once you know what the problem is, take responsibility.

#3. Show remorse. If you’re going to say you’re sorry, mean it. If you don’t, it will come through, and a phony apology is worse than not giving one at all.

#4. Make restitution. Explain or demonstrate what you intend to do going forward.

#5. Repetition... and no, I don’t mean repeating the mistake. Show, through changed behaviors or positive actions, that you have learned the lesson. If your company is truly sorry for its mistake, then make sure you make good on your commitments and do what you said you would do.

When mistakes happen (and they will), how quickly you respond and how you respond will make the difference between how much you and your company are trusted.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Show and Tell of Trust

Consciously and deliberately building trust is important. Think of it as “show and tell” for grownups but with much bigger consequences than a grade on an elementary school report card. The evaluation you get can affect whether or not people are willing to follow you and how well you succeed in your career.

People will hear what you say, but they are watching what you do to make sure the two line up. When it comes to trust, they want you to show them through your actions and behaviors before you tell them to trust you.

Trust is a willingness to be open and vulnerable based upon positive expectations you believe you will receive from the other person. You can improve trust by following the 5 C’s of Trust. They are:

Caring
People will trust and support you if they know you truly care about them. Caring can show up in how you connect with others. Caring leaders give credit to their employees and challenge them to reach new levels. When we care, we lead with the heart and the head.

Commitment
Showing up is an essential part of commitment. Keep your commitments no matter how small or large. When you can’t keep a commitment you have to communicate and ask to be released from it.

Consistency
Consistent leaders evaluate themselves and make sure their words and actions are congruent. Are you congruent? Everyone has off days, so if you do fly off the handle, circle back and take ownership of the inconsistency. Imagine a leader who bases his platform on being open and approachable, but won’t listen to his staff or attend meetings. Decide what your values are and use them to make decisions. It will help to guide you and keep you constant.

Competence
People will question your competence if they don’t see it in action. When people can see that you know what you are doing, they extend trust. Your competence is developed through experience and requires work. Don’t be satisfied with mediocre. Be the best you can be. Keep your skills fresh by being a lifelong learner and listener.

The previous four competencies are based on a solid foundation of...

Communication
Sometimes you can’t communicate because of privacy issues, but your staff must be able to trust that you have their best interests at heart. If you say there is nothing going on, but your actions - and the actions of the company - say differently, you are creating a trust deficit. The show doesn't match the tell. Trust your employees with the ability to handle the truth even if the truth is they can’t have all of the information. Don’t sugarcoat and say things are great if they are not. Share what you can when you can. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Building Trust

Do you find it easier to figure out who you can trust rather than trying to figure out who trusts you? If you answered yes, then you’re not alone.

Look at this bull’s eye below. Write the names of people whom you completely trust in the center of the eye. Move out from the center putting a person’s name in each of the categories. Place people according to where you trust them.


With all of the work that I do in trust, I’m seeing a correlation between how much people trust and how much they are trusted. It would seem that trust is a reciprocal emotion. We are more likely to trust those who trust us.

I was speaking at a conference and I had the attendees do this exercise. At the end of the presentation a woman came up to me and said she was a head nurse at one of the large hospitals in the city. She put most of the people she worked with on the outer ring of the trust circle and admitted that they didn't trust her either. We sat and talked about what she could do to increase trust, but it had to start with her trusting them more. Because there was such a trust deficit, I suggested she start by having a frank discussion around trust and bring in trust behaviors. It wouldn't happen overnight, but if she stayed consistent and committed to building trust it would make a huge difference, not only to her and the nurses who worked for her, but to the patients who would benefit from a happier workplace.

Here are some of my suggestions:
  1. Demonstrate genuine concern for your employees.
  2. Recognize their achievements.
  3. If they make a mistake, correct through coaching and not punishment.
  4. If you make a mistake, admit it.
  5. Explain goals and targets in a way that shows how it benefits them and not just the organization.
  6. Use 'we' more than 'I'.
  7. Be accessible.
  8. Don’t make promises unless you know you can deliver - and if you can’t. explain why.
  9. Increase frequency and candor of your communications.
  10. Spend more time explaining options during stressful times.

Trust starts from within us.

We must first trust our self before we trust others. When you were doing the trust circle exercise, did you place yourself in the center?

Here is something for you to do. Finish these sentences:

This week I’m going to:
This week I’m not going to:

Now post this someplace you can see. See how you do at building up trust within yourself. Wouldn’t it be great if we carried through on all of the promises we make to ourselves? Those savings accounts would be healthier, our weight would be where we want it to be, and others would know they could count on us. Personal trustworthiness precedes relationship trust.

So what are you going to do to build more trust?

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Strategic Vulnerability

My friend Tammy and I are able to reconnect after not seeing each other for months like only good friends can. Our conversation starts where the last one finished off. I can let her know my secrets, my triumphs and even my insecurities without worrying that they will go any further than the room we’re standing in. That level of vulnerability speaks to the depth of the friendship. We met 20 years ago when we worked for the same company and our deep friendship has continued to grow over time.

Do you have friends like this? Those people you can show your underbelly to without being concerned that you’ll be fatally wounded.

How about at work? Do you have people that you are willing to share your concerns about the business? Would you tell them about the bonehead comment you made to a customer that might have cost your company their business? Just how vulnerable are you willing to be? From my studies I believe you need to be strategically vulnerable.

The Five Levels of Vulnerability to Trust

Level 1
At this level you are sharing information. “Nice weather.” “Here is the report.” You are not being vulnerable. There is no risk to trust because you are not sharing any opinions or beliefs. When you first meet people you may start here.

Level 2
When you go to level two, you start to show a bit more of who you are. You may start sharing your likes and dislikes. It starts to test the other person’s reactions. It’s still a safe place to be since you can distance yourself if you feel threatened or criticized. Still low vulnerability.

Level 3
At level three you start to take small risks and share your own opinions, thoughts and beliefs. Some people who have high levels of self-trust start at level three. Some may decide it’s too risky to give an opinion and move back down to level two. You are showing a higher level of vulnerability here.

Level 4
At level four you start sharing your feelings and experiences, and open yourself up by talking about your joys, triumphs, pain and failures. This level is more vulnerable because you are sharing personal information. A decision has been made that this person with whom you are being vulnerable is trustworthy.

Level 5
You show who you really are, warts and all. There is no fear that what you share will be used against you. This level involves a great deal of vulnerability, but also gives you the deepest relationships. For some people this level is only given to family and friends we’ve known for a long time that have proven they can be trusted.

Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Texas. Her TED talk on vulnerability has received over 12 million hits. In one of her talks Brown said that you don’t show you're vulnerable until you know you can trust the person. But the definition of trust is to be vulnerable based on positive expectations about someone else’s behavior.

It seems to be a classic Catch 22 - in order to trust you have to be vulnerable, and in order to be vulnerable you have to trust. Our level of trust goes hand in hand with our level of vulnerability. How vulnerable are you willing to be?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Trust in All Directions

I was driving to get my gardening supplies and drove down a familiar road. The route takes me up a steep hill and on both sides of the street there are tall trees and shrubs that create a wall of green. You can’t see what is behind the dense shrubbery.

When I was driving home, I had to stop at the crest of the hill for a red light and had a full view of what had been hidden on each side of the road. It looks like they are constructing a shopping mall. Wow, a huge complex that I knew nothing about.

Driving in the opposite direction gave me a different view of what is going on in the neighborhood. If you had asked me to tell you of new developments before I drove home, I would have told you that there weren't any. I wouldn't have been purposefully lying, but until I went in a new direction, my perception was there were only trees and bushes.

I've heard many people say that they should be trusted because they always tell the truth, but so often, we tell the truth from what we know. We’re not lying, but the truth may be hidden from our view.

Your effectiveness as a leader hinges on your trust-ability. You need to be seen as someone who tells the truth. Can you see things from all viewpoints?

When Harry Herington of NIC was asked a question at a town hall meeting, he let them know that they could have the information, but then all of them would have insider trading knowledge and would not be able to buy or sell any stock. He asked if they wanted him to continue. The question was withdrawn. Harry could have said, “I can’t tell you that,” which would have created an atmosphere of distrust. By being honest and sharing the full view and scope of answering the question, Herington upped his trustworthiness.

Using Herington’s example, you can show people what the full picture looks like. As a leader, you need to decide if employees are equipped with the business acumen and knowledge to recognize the consequences of disclosing too much information.

Sometimes you can’t share because of privacy issues, but they must be able to trust that you have their best interests at heart. If you say there is nothing going on and your actions, and the actions of the company, say differently you are creating a trust deficit. Trust your employees with the ability to handle the truth even if the truth is they can’t have all of the information. Don’t sugarcoat and say things are great if they are not. Share what you can when you can.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.”

Be the honest leader that people want to follow. If the truth is hiding behind some bushes, then be honest and let people know that you’re view is obstructed and you’ll give them the full picture when you have an opportunity to look at it from every direction.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

TRUSTED to Lead

“The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.”
- Henry Stimson-
You've heard of the old adage: “We do business with people we know, like and trust.” I would add that we elect our officials and hire our staff for the same reason. The good news is this: you got your position because you were trusted. The challenging news is that you have to maintain the trust once you are in the position. What can you do to increase your own trust and the trust of the organization?

There are two questions you should ask:
  1. Do I trust?
  2. Do others trust me?
Any worthwhile relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust. But too often there is a belief that you have to see trust in others before you can start trusting them. Years of research and study show that the opposite is true. We have to first trust and then we are trusted.

I remember a friend who used “They already don’t trust me so I may as well do what I want” as an excuse to get into trouble. I had the opposite experience where many a weekend of debauchery was ruined because of my Father’s voice telling me he trusted me to do the right thing. He modeled the rule “First you trust”.

Trust is a willingness to be open to the other person or situation based on your belief that something positive will come out of it. You may not agree with the way someone else views a situation, but if you look for the common value and goal, you’ll see that they are doing what they believe is right. Distrust occurs when their goal conflicts or gets in the way of your goal.

Trust is a big deal. When people aren’t working optimally together, it usually stems from a lack of trust. If you want to build trust, follow these 5 simple lessons.

Commitment
Showing up is an essential part of commitment. It means diving off the board into the water and fully committing to the task at hand. It involves following through and doing what you say you will do. Keep your commitments no matter how small or large. When you can’t keep a commitment, you have to communicate and ask to be released from it.

Caring
People will trust and support you if they know you truly care about them. Get to know the people you represent.

Consistency
People can accept indifference more than a person who cares one day and is indifferent the next - because they know what to expect. Are you congruent? Everyone has off days so, if you do fly off the handle, circle back and take ownership of the inconsistency. Decide what your values are and use them to make decisions. It will help to guide you and keep you constant.

Competence
People will question your competence if they don’t see it in action. Unlike the politician who bases his platform on being open and approachable and won’t listen or attend meetings, make sure you are congruent. Don’t be satisfied with mediocre. Be the best you can be. Keep your skills fresh by being a lifelong learner and listener.

Communication
The previous four competencies are based on a solid foundation of communication. When you are having a conversation with someone, do they have your full attention? Are you making eye contact? Are you allowing the frustrations of the day to affect the tone of your voice? If someone wants to discuss something important, put down your mobile device and give them your full attention.

You can use this same framework to evaluate the trust of another person. That feeling you have of distrust can usually be tied into one of the 5 C’s as well as the Blue Whale of the trust rules… DWYSYWD.

Do What You Say You Will Do.

This is sometimes much harder than any of the other aspects of trust since promises can be made without understanding barriers that stand in the way. When that happens you have to circle back and communicate, communicate, communicate!

People will choose to respect and follow leaders that are able to instill trust, admiration and respect because of positive behaviors and actions. The small things you do to build trust become the big things on which you are evaluated.

Trust can be learned and improved. Start now.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Which is better: Nice or Kind?

A friend of mine posted a question on Facebook asking, “Are you nice?” Actually, she was much more creative in her ask. She said, “Endangered Species: Nice people. (Are you an endangered species, too?)”

My answer was: “I’m told I’m a nice person but really, what I strive for is to be kind.”

When I was editing my book, the kindness shown to me by people I respect wasn't always nice. It was benevolent and considerate with the intent to make things better. There were times when I silently raged against the feedback that felt critical and demoralizing. But in the end, it made the book better. I appreciated friends who were willing to step up and tell me things I didn't want to hear but needed to know. I learned a lot from the experience and, now more than ever, I strive to be as brave and kind as those friends who helped me edit my book.

What High Trust Leaders share is a willingness to voice their own opinions even when others disagree.

Being pleasant and agreeable is a trait you want to have in your team members but as a leader people must trust that they will get the real goods from you, even when it is unpleasant and not ‘nice’. I find it interesting to note that, although agreeableness is positively correlated with teamwork, it is negatively correlated with leadership success.

The leader who is displeased with a worker's performance must be strong enough to let them know in very plain language what they need to do and the consequences if they don’t do it. Wanting to be seen as a popular and nice boss is the surest way to fail. Rather than saying, “I think you could do better.” (Nice) Say, “Here is what needs to be improved and we’re giving you x amount of time to do it. If you don’t improve by x, you’ll be fired.”

My good friend Rich DiGirolamo is a funny irreverent Speaker/Trainer/Coach on leadership and team engagement. He uses humor to get across tough messages in a way that allows people to hear what they need to hear. Even his voice mail message is funny: “Hey, this is Rich. If you've called to say Hi, make some plans, have some fun, or just laugh a little bit, then please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. If you are calling to whine, moan or complain, then I’m positively certain that there are others in your network who would much rather hear from you.” Rich knows that humor is often the kindest way to show people what they need to improve. What he says isn't always nice but he’s always kind. (Click here to learn more about Rich.)

Quick Way to Lose Trust

After managing a few offices, I can tell you that one of the quickest ways to lose trust is to talk about someone behind their back. As an HR manager or an office manager reporting to the owners or senior leaders, it sometimes felt that my job ONLY involved talking about people when they weren't present. I made sure that whatever I said about people, I also said to them, and they knew what would be passed up the chain. Saying something nice to people when you are in front of them, and then criticizing them in public, not only destroys trust but creates a reputation as a hypocrite.

What you say about others says more about you than them.

And, to quote a favorite song of mine, “In the end, only kindness matters.”

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Knowing Right and Doing Right

A training company - I’ll call it XYZ - teaches management and leadership skills. On their website, they advertise courses that show how to create organizational success by improving relationships through positive communication, teamwork, stress management, and the ABC’s of supervision.

Yet in one year they had a staff turnover of over 50%. People who left said they were not supported and mistakes were brought up at weekly meetings where a leader criticized and ridiculed them. It was the star performers who left first, leaving behind staff whose confidence had been shattered by the barrage of constant criticism. Some stayed due to the belief that they weren't good enough to find anything else.

The staff that stayed had to carry on in an environment that felt uncertain, and continue in roles that had accountability with limited personal control. Sick days increased and productivity was at an all time low. Key clients followed the star trainers. XYZ Company discounted their training programs to keep and attract new customers. Profits suffered.

Not surprisingly, there was difficulty getting the ‘right’ people to come on board or even apply for the positions that needed to be filled, in spite of the stagnant job market. Word got around that this was a company with huge challenges, little appreciation, and no guarantee of job security.

Trust was non-existent.

Knowing the right thing to do isn't the same as doing the right thing.

Trust is the willingness to be open and vulnerable based on your belief that there will be positive behavior from the other person. In a trusted environment, people are encouraged to open up without negative repercussions. Was the XYZ leader trusted? I think you know the answer.

Rebuilding trust in this organization is a big task, but fortunately they have started to turn things around. Here is what they are doing:
  1. The most significant change was getting the right people in positions of authority. Just because someone has technical skills doesn't mean they can run an organization or lead staff. The bullying boss left and was replaced by someone with better leadership skills.
  2. They brought back the people who had the original vision of what the company stood for.
  3. There is more congruence between what they say and what they do. As an organization that teaches management skills, they are incorporating what they teach into how they operate.
  4. Weekly meetings are used to facilitate and communicate information. Respectful communication is practiced. Accolades are shared; criticisms are now private.
Rebuilding trust is possible, but it takes a clear blueprint and determination.

The consequence of not rebuilding trust is working in a shattered structure with occasional glimpses of the glory of what could have been.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Erosion of Trust

It’s been widely quoted, so much in fact that it appears to be a truism: “It takes years to build trust, seconds to destroy it, and forever to repair.”

I don’t agree.

What I've discovered is this: trust is not lost in a second, it erodes over time.

You may think that Governor Christie is a perfect example of the quote.

For those of you who haven’t seen a paper or listened to the news, Governor Christie, the Governor of New Jersey, is embroiled in a scandal about closing traffic lanes on the George Washington Bridge in retaliation to a political official who would not give his support to the Governor's bid for re-election. Christie has publicly stated that his staff closed the lanes without his knowledge or consent. However, his bullying reputation is widely known, as is his penchant for retribution. The New York Times has said, “Christie is sensitive to slights and politically belligerent.”

One of the 5 tenets of trust is caring. Bullying is contrary and establishes a pattern of behavior... an erosion of trust. Given the erosion that has occurred over the years, is it really this one event that destroyed trust? The erosion started years ago and it just took one more decline for the trust structure to go over the cliff.

In Steven Covey’s book “The Speed of Trust”, he talks about the two pillars of trust: character and competence. The majority of trust issues are around violations of integrity, a combination of congruency, humility and courage.

What can we learn from Christie’s loss of trust?

#1. Act according to values. Show that there isn't a gap between what you say you value and what you do.

#2. Be humble. Humility involves acknowledging others contributions rather than seeking all the glory. As Covey says, “A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right.”

#3. Demonstrate courage. Courage is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. It is about being brave enough to be vulnerable and admit mistakes.

Most people understand right and wrong. Untrustworthiness doesn't usually stem from a blatant character flaw or being a bad person. It comes about through a process of moral justification, a process of reinterpreting immoral behavior in terms of a higher good.

A Simple Guide to Trustworthy Behavior

Follow the Golden rule: “Do unto others what you would want them to do to you.” You can also apply Rotary Internationals four questions to guide you:
  • Is it the truth?
  • Is it fair to all concerned?
  • Will it build goodwill and better friendship?
  • Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
Once the building has gone over the cliff, it’s pretty hard to haul it back up. Best thing is to make sure the foundation is strong and it has been reinforced over the years, or “in a second” a career will come tumbling down.

photo by DonkeyHotey/Flickr

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Self Trust and Goal Setting

The year before I turned 40, I set a New Years goal of running a marathon. It was a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). Our children were young, only 3 and 6, and when I first told my husband he gave me a look. You know the look. It’s somewhere between, “I want to support you” and “You've got to be kidding.” I hadn't run for over seven years and the longest I had ever run was six miles. Now I was talking about 26.2 miles.

It was a difficult time for us. Ric left a job that had emotionally bankrupted him and I went back to work after being a stay-at-home-Mom for over six years. Between work and raising a young family, there wasn't a lot of time to train. Many times, after I had put the children to bed, I would lace up my sneakers and go run for an hour or more. It became my time, when all my jumbled thoughts and fearsome imaginings would magically fall away and I could come home, smile and support Ric while he healed and regained his assurance. My confidence and self trust increased with every mile I logged.

The Pain of Success

The year of my 40th birthday I didn’t run a full marathon but I did a half. It took another year of training before I did a full marathon. I love this picture showing me, red-faced and grimacing, as I try to climb the steps to my home after my run. It reminds me that achieving a goal takes lot of effort and there may be pain.

Training for the marathon taught me so much more than split times and cross training. The times when I’d failed, I let the setbacks discourage me and I quit too soon.

Lessons on Self Trust

Over the years when I run into challenges that seem beyond my reach, I think back to what I learned when I was training.
  1. You can’t run the race until you’re ready. The first time I went for a run, I only went 3 minutes before I had to stop and walk. One block seemed as hard as 26.2 miles the first time I went out. I made a commitment of time and effort, a bit at a time; change occurs step by step.
  2. Other people can help. I stuck to a training schedule that I got from a marathon site. Remember that success leaves traces and you can learn from others. Most of it was around being consistent and knowing what had to be done... and then doing it.
  3. I took care of myself. Yup. Nothing fancy. I cut down on my wine and increased foods that made me feel good. Self-care was important.
  4. Expert advice is available. I found competent specialists who helped me through a variety of running injuries. I made sure that my running shoes were from someone who knew what they were talking about.
  5. I learned to communicate what I needed to my husband and friends. Once Ric understood how important it was for me, I got his full support.
If you want to increase your self trust, create a win for yourself by achieving a goal. Think of a past success and use what you learned to help you achieve your new target. Bring in the 5 C’s of trust: Commitment, Consistency, Care, Competence and Communication.

What do you want to achieve? What past win can you use to motivate you when times get tough?